Truck Bet

“If you win I’ll mow your lawn, if I win you wash my truck.”

That’s how it started out, a harmless side bet with my girlfriend on poker night. I’d go over and play at her house with some friends every Friday. We’d play for money, but not much. So winning this bet meant wining more (or losing less) overall by the end of the night. Well, I lost, but she offered to let me try again next week if I’d wash her truck naked. Good clean fun, I thought.

To this day I’m not sure if her friends conspired against me or if I was just having terrible luck, but a month later the wager had grown to registering permanently naked and washing all her friends cars once a week for a year. Having been included in the stakes they were of course all aware of our side bet by this point. So it was a livelier game than usual, and to be honest I don’t think they were focused. I should have had an edge, but never the less, when we counted up at the end I’d won just a few dollars less than my girlfriend.

This was the moment of truth, figured she’d offer to let me try again with some even more outrageous stakes, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to go there. But she had another idea. She said I could try again with the same terms if I’d play naked next week. I was a little bit shocked, this broke the pattern but considering they would all seem me naked if I had to register anyway… I took the offer after just a few moments thought.

When Friday came around again I wasn’t feeling so great. I arrived early so I wouldn’t have to undress in front of her friends, but I found several already there. Before I could lose my nerve I went straight to her bedroom, stripped, and came out to a smattering of applause. We sat around awkwardly for the last people to show. When the game started I did my best—believe me I wanted to win—but I was too embarrassed to pay attention and ended up losing horribly. I looked at my girlfriend expectantly, but she didn’t make me another offer. She just said “Honey, this has gone on long enough. We had our fun, and I don’t think you’re enjoying this anymore.” She was right about that, and her friends nodded in agreement, saying I was a good sport and such. I realized she’d discussed this with them ahead of time. I was relieved but at the same time it didn’t sit right with me. She suggested I go ahead and get dressed, which I did. I went home in a bad mood.

To say my girlfriend was surprised when I showed up naked on Monday, and with sponge and nudity registration in hand would be an understatement. If I look a bit angry in that picture it’s not because I’m mad about the bet, that was my own dumb fault. I’m mad that she didn’t expect me to go through with it. I always pay up.